Chairs

I have never been exeptionaly fond of chairs. They have their uses, like sitting upon them, but one day I realized that chairs are not only useful, but extremely dangerous. If you sit on a chair many things may happen, have you ever noticed that nine times out of someone has a heart attack in a chair? The other time its in a sofa. Also, on average 1,000 people die in their chairs a day. 10,000 more die in other peoples chairs. Its also true that chairs have radiation poisining 10,000 times more powerful than nuclear power plants. Chairs cause caner. Chairs cause colds. If you sit in a chair long enough you become a zombie. Chairs cause the black death. Chairs are evil. They also make you write dumb writing assinments on them.